First Anniversary

Care and Love at Home

It was a year ago today that Aileen left us. She had been transferred to Strathcarron Hospice on a Friday morning a week earlier after it became impossible to care for her at home as she was dependent upon a pump to administer her complex and constantly adjusting cocktail of medications. She was bed-bound and unable to take any food. The consultant told us on Monday that she had about 48 hours to go, a picture of snowdrops was attached to the door of her room, it was a message to the staff that it was end of life. 

We spent the days with her and I stayed overnight from Monday, Gregor was there all day and we made sure that she was never alone. I was joined by her brother John on Wednesday night. By then she was mainly unconscious with the medication. We were administering water with a sponge every half hour. She could no longer talk but she was aware we were present as she could hear us. 

On Thursday her breathing was becoming ever more difficult and we all doubted that she would last the night, the night nurses seemed to know although they were discrete and supportive. Gregor and I both stayed and tried to catch some sleep in her room. It was fitful and we were both alert as her breathing became slower, she had been turned over by the nurses at about 2:00am. Gregor shouted to me at 4:00am., "Dad, she's stopped breathing. She had, and Gregor was by her side holding her hand. "Mum, it's Gregor", she breathed again as I held her other hand. "Aileen, it's Keith, I love you", she released another gasping breath. And that was the end.

Strathcarron Hospice, her room in the foreground