Gavin and Dido

Gavin, the Education Secretary

Dame Dido of Test Test

Just when you think the government can't possibly make things any worse, we are confronted by Gavin Williamson, the former fireplace salesman, setting fire to the exam system and Dido Harding, admitting she hasn't a clue how to set up the new organisation that the PM has entrusted to her. It is a tragicomedy, with Priti Patel, Robert Jenrick, Matt Hancock, and Dominic Cummings already having escaped being sacked or resigning as would have been guaranteed in any previous administration. Gavin and Dido have now become prize exhibits in the calamity of incompetence that is the defining signature of this government.

When the PM made Dido Harding a Dame, he must have been thinking more about pantomimes than bestowing an honour.  As the CEO of Talk Talk, she resigned after a headline "Dido Harding's utter ignorance is a lesson to us all" after a hacking attack that cost the company £77m and the loss of personal details of 4 million customers. As a Jockey Club Board member, she allowed the Cheltenham Festival to take place when the lockdown was imminent. Despite being a Tory life peer, in May 2020 she was appointed by Matt Hancock, the Health Secretary,  to manage the government's Track, Test and Trace programme in response to the Covid pandemic. It has failed with distinction even according to the government's MPs and press cheerleaders. 

She has now been asked to set up the National Institute for Health Protection. She is to be helped by Serco, fresh from screwing up the prisons, asylum centres, healthcare facilities and numerous other public services. Having already messed up Test Test there is little chance of Dido managing to get as far as Trace Trace. Meanwhile, Public Health England is to be abolished and local Councils are still not obtaining the essential data that they need in order to trace local clusters or spikes.

Gavin Williamson had an unfortunate track record of leaking national security details, making unfortunate allegations against other nations, and displaying serious diplomatic inadequacies before being sacked as Defence Secretary by Theresa May. His time as Education Secretary was not going well before his August horribilis in dealing with the preparation for school openings. The exam result fiasco and the consequent sackings of his senior civil servant and head of Ofqual have simply magnified his unsuitability for office. 

Gavin and Dido have plummeted the depths of managerial incompetence on so many occasions that even such luminaries as Chris Grayling, Liz Truss, Liam Fox and Priti Patel must be cheered that they are no longer the only contestants for the title of this government's world-beating incompetent. If only we had a prime minister.