Andy caps Captain Flip Flop

It was the morning after the Makerfield by-election that was won by Andy Burnham with far more ease than any of the media or pundits had anticipated. His acceptance speech emphasised his commitment to giving priority to place over party politics and a willingness to work across political boundaries. Next up was Richard Tice, the overbearing stooge sent out to wallpaper over Nigel Farage's many indiscretions and translate his quotes into something different to what Captain Farage had really said. 

Whilst Farage was posting himself in an England shirt to support England's 4-2 victory over Croatia in the World Cup, using an old photo from the Euros 2 years ago, Sergeant Tice was touring the studios, claiming that Reform had performed astoundingly well despite receiving only 35% of the vote.  This was well short of the 51% in the recent Council elections, when Labour received only 23% of the vote. Even the opinion polls leading up to the by-election had averaged  43% of the vote for Reform. It is amazing how successful bots can be at influencing polling and how gullible the journalists who are seduced by them are. 

Tice accused Burnham of not campaigning as the Labour Party candidate, which is why he won. Voters were getting rid of Starmer, who was the real Labour Party. Tice then accused Burnham of being more left-wing and argued that we needed to eradicate socialism. Tice has a rare ability to tie himself in knots as he shuffles through excuses. He seems to forget that the so-called Reform Party is actually a private company with no mechanism for its members to have any say in its policies. This allows the board of Reform to rapidly change its posturing on any issue that might entice voters.  

Tice finished with a pre-prepared put down: "Andy Burnham was Captain Flip Flop". He should know; he has been the chief apologist for the real Captain Flip Flop ever since he was deposed as the chairman of Reform plc. Like many others, he has been infected by the Farage Derangement Syndrome, unlike Makerfield, which has acquired immunity from the pathogen of Reform.

Captain Flip Flop celebrating England's 4-2 victory from a 2024 time capsule

Meanwhile, in the real world of the UK Government, the issue is how and when the leadership of the Labour Party passes from Sir Keir Starmer to Andy Burnham. Starmer has made several statements saying that he would contest any attempt at a leadership bid by Burnham or Wes Streeting. I suspect that his duty to the country, the Party and his undoubted integrity will lead him to resign after he has heard the feedback from his cabinet colleagues and acknowledges that the games a bogey. This would ensure a more dignified legacy in the eyes of the party and maybe the wider electorate in the longer term than an ignominious defeat if he stands against Andy Burnham.