If our politicians were comedians

Michael Gove

August is supposed to be the silly season; our politicians have headed for the Mediterranean along with many of their electorate. It sums up their lack of curiosity and unwillingness to try something different. Crowded beaches, airport delays, too hot to enjoy, and the added bonus of fires as Europe heats up and dries out. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results" is a quote attributed to Einstein, but it sounds more like a quip from Tony Hancock.

It got me thinking about what it would be like if comedians played our politicians.  The first politician to appear in the silly season was almost inevitable: Mel Stride, the bumbling shadow Chancellor, and a ubiquitous presence on TV and Radio. He can shape-shift his previous statements with impunity. He gets things wrong and can empty a room or make you change channels faster than you can say Harry Worth. And if a comedian were to play him, then Harry would be the man.

Next up was Robert Jenrik, a man so keen to discombobulate previous colleagues and opposition parties that he would have to be played by Ricky Gervais. Nigel Farage has disappeared somewhere in Europe to avoid any involvement in his self-inflicted by-election and escape investigations of his financial shenanigans whilst he goes through another regeneration. He has had so many that Steve Coogan would need to play him. 

Kathy Burke would be a shoo-in for Kemi Badenoch: brutally blunt and taking no prisoners, though maybe not quite as aggressive as Kemi. 

Wes Streeting is quick with a quip and willing to criticise, and Jo Brand has the looks, NHS lived experience and the sharp tongue to play the part. 

Ed Davey could obviously play himself, but Frank Spencer would be a good stand-in. 

Frankie Boyle goes where other comedians fear to tread and could stretch to either end of the UK's power-crazed politicians: Zach Polanski of the Greens and Zia Yusuf of Reform, both of whom reside in cloud cuckoo land. 

As for Andy Burnham, well, the popular press would probably suggest Andy from Little Britain, but they lack imagination; I think Spike Milligan would be a better choice, and as this clip shows, particularly when negotiating with American Presidents or dealing with Kathy Burke at PM Questions.

Michael Gove was a Pinocchio of the Tory Party during the Austerity, Brexit and Covid years, and it would be fitting for another blast from the past, Chick Murray to do the honours.

Rachel Reeves and Angela Raynor could both be played by the impressionist Jan Ravens, who is also the voice double for our greatest ever PM Liz Truss......I Know.