The quest for the Holy Grail of Integrated Transport was achieved last night in Edinburgh. The gale force winds that had whistled through the Central belt all day had resulted in all trains being cancelled during the rush hour so I was grounded at Haymarket along with thousands of others. I had brought an umbrella which had proved useful in the walk to the station in the morning, despite turning inside out at every gust, but it soon joined the jetstream of hats, bags and umbrellas departing from Haymarket platz. It was a wet walk with the wind at my back to the centre of Edinburgh in the hope of finding a bus at St James' centre but the bus station closed just before I got there. We were told to go to Princes Street to find buses but the bus stops were blocked off by the tram works and the crowds were similar to Hogmanay but without any anticipation of fireworks. Edinburgh is the least pedestrian friendly city that I know and the only compensation is the normally excellent bus service that caters for those of us that choose to avoid visiting the city by car.
I began the walk back along Princes Street wondering if the trams would have survived the gales assuming they ever became operational. I eventually decided to get a local bus to the airport but this got caught up in a traffic jam and was virtually static for half an hour. My patience was exhausted and I got off the bus by the Gyle and walked and jogged past thousands of cars, the RBS HQ and the airport to get to the motorway at Ratho. It was closed, a lorry had overturned, and it would be several hours before it reopened according to the police who suggested I phone home and get someone to come to Broxburn to pick me up. Knowing that this defeated the object of reducing journeys and simply put more people at risk I elected to get a bus if any could be found. A trickle of buses began to emerge from the congestion and I jaywalked to the outside lane to wave them down but they were all full and after 12 sailed past me I decided to hitch a lift.
I keep getting e mails to car share and frequently give lifts myself surely this was payback time. Forget the fleets of BMW and Mercedes, they never stop. A couple of hundred mainly single occupied cars dawdled past - I had already walked or jogged past them and they had no intention of picking up a bedraggled man with no coat and little obvious sense. It was raining cows and sheep and the wind was so strong that only the island flights were taking off from the airport. With my umbrella having soared off into the Edinburgh skies, my suit was like blotting paper and I seemed to be the only person walking. There was a sense of anarchy about the evening, this was confirmed when my daughter phoned from Manchester where she had just met John Cleese in a gym and told him I had that I had insisted on making her watch Monty Python and Fawlty Towers as a child. His parting words to her were "send my love to your dad'.
In short the entire transport system was fully integrated last night - nothing worked. I blame Keith Brown, the new transport minister, who was telling us not to travel. I began to reflect on the justification for a second Forth Road Bridge - the biggest item of transport expenditure in the rapidly declining public spending plans. It seemed utter lunacy and as pointless as the trams - it would be closed by the wind too. Investing in improvements to the inadequate existing infrastructure for pedestrians, cyclists and in new public transport vehicles would make much more sense.
On occasions like this there is only one solution: the goodwill of humankind, and so it proved. As I crossed out of Edinburgh into West Lothian a car stopped (a Renault) and I had a lift to Polmont. We discussed politics, the proposed Forth Bridge and the economy and the friendship that developed was translated into an offer of a trip to Falkirk which I politely declined. I then stood at the motorway roundabout for a further 15 minutes in another squall until a second car stopped (a Vauxhall), it was a car delivery driver who was used to hitching. He had driven all the way to Edinburgh to collect his wife and as someone who had spent many hours on motorway roundabouts, albeit clutching a set of number plates, he wanted to return the favours that he had received whilst hitching. He proved this by taking me all the way to my car at the park and ride in Stirling.
So what are some lessons from this. When trains and buses are not running, motorways are closed and the trams are still £700m and 5 years disruption of the city away, the only truly integrated transport is walking and the generosity of kindly folk. And like thousands of others, I didn't have the patience or time to pursue whoever it is that runs the trains nowadays to refund my ticket.
I began the walk back along Princes Street wondering if the trams would have survived the gales assuming they ever became operational. I eventually decided to get a local bus to the airport but this got caught up in a traffic jam and was virtually static for half an hour. My patience was exhausted and I got off the bus by the Gyle and walked and jogged past thousands of cars, the RBS HQ and the airport to get to the motorway at Ratho. It was closed, a lorry had overturned, and it would be several hours before it reopened according to the police who suggested I phone home and get someone to come to Broxburn to pick me up. Knowing that this defeated the object of reducing journeys and simply put more people at risk I elected to get a bus if any could be found. A trickle of buses began to emerge from the congestion and I jaywalked to the outside lane to wave them down but they were all full and after 12 sailed past me I decided to hitch a lift.
I keep getting e mails to car share and frequently give lifts myself surely this was payback time. Forget the fleets of BMW and Mercedes, they never stop. A couple of hundred mainly single occupied cars dawdled past - I had already walked or jogged past them and they had no intention of picking up a bedraggled man with no coat and little obvious sense. It was raining cows and sheep and the wind was so strong that only the island flights were taking off from the airport. With my umbrella having soared off into the Edinburgh skies, my suit was like blotting paper and I seemed to be the only person walking. There was a sense of anarchy about the evening, this was confirmed when my daughter phoned from Manchester where she had just met John Cleese in a gym and told him I had that I had insisted on making her watch Monty Python and Fawlty Towers as a child. His parting words to her were "send my love to your dad'.
In short the entire transport system was fully integrated last night - nothing worked. I blame Keith Brown, the new transport minister, who was telling us not to travel. I began to reflect on the justification for a second Forth Road Bridge - the biggest item of transport expenditure in the rapidly declining public spending plans. It seemed utter lunacy and as pointless as the trams - it would be closed by the wind too. Investing in improvements to the inadequate existing infrastructure for pedestrians, cyclists and in new public transport vehicles would make much more sense.
On occasions like this there is only one solution: the goodwill of humankind, and so it proved. As I crossed out of Edinburgh into West Lothian a car stopped (a Renault) and I had a lift to Polmont. We discussed politics, the proposed Forth Bridge and the economy and the friendship that developed was translated into an offer of a trip to Falkirk which I politely declined. I then stood at the motorway roundabout for a further 15 minutes in another squall until a second car stopped (a Vauxhall), it was a car delivery driver who was used to hitching. He had driven all the way to Edinburgh to collect his wife and as someone who had spent many hours on motorway roundabouts, albeit clutching a set of number plates, he wanted to return the favours that he had received whilst hitching. He proved this by taking me all the way to my car at the park and ride in Stirling.
So what are some lessons from this. When trains and buses are not running, motorways are closed and the trams are still £700m and 5 years disruption of the city away, the only truly integrated transport is walking and the generosity of kindly folk. And like thousands of others, I didn't have the patience or time to pursue whoever it is that runs the trains nowadays to refund my ticket.
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