Gone Boy

Unmasked and dozing PM at COP26 next to David Attenborough

"He's just a boy," was my mother's refrain when my friend's parents complained that I was leading their sons astray by going out of bounds on long bike rides to distant towns, or breaking curfews when coming back from adventures in the nearby woods or playing football after dark. It is a term that could be applied equally to our current prime minister, Boris Johnson.

I have met no one in the past two years who has had a good word to say about the man and I have been banging on about his unsuitability to hold any public office since his time as Mayor of London when he behaved like Benny Hill on steroids, most notably when he got stuck on a zip wire over the Thames, he was defying both gravity and gravitas. 

He has always been a loose cannon, someone whose self-esteem and sense of entitlement make him unreliable, incoherent, and unhinged - an inchoate man or just a boy really. Someone totally unsuited to public office as Max Hastings, his editor at the Telegraph said many years ago: “a cavorting charlatan, exhibiting moral bankruptcy rooted in a contempt for truth who cares for nothing but his own fame and gratification.”

Yet he has surfed his way to the top of the Tory party as an MP, the Mayor of London, a mouthpiece and champion for Brexit, the Foreign Secretary and, most disturbingly, as Prime Minister. He is becoming an albatross for the Tory Party as they have rumbled his assumed reputation as a serial winner. His career was greased by inheriting the safe Tory seat of Henley from Michael Heseltine, by the London electorate growing impatient with the incumbent Labour Mayor, Ken Livingstone, by the Tory Party losing confidence in Theresa May and by facing an unelectable Jeremy Corbyn as the Labour opposition leader. Like any bully, he has picked his contests, losing would have been difficult if not impossible in any of these contests. 

It is staggering that it has taken so long for his authority and popularity to perish. Maybe it's a result of the nascent English Nationalism and the still substantial power of the fourth estate who have championed his quasi-authoritarian government. But even the Mail, Express and Times have turned on him following his attempt to rescue the disgraced former cabinet minister Owen Paterson who has been paid over £500k  to lobby government departments. This has been the last straw following his failures in the management of the COVID-19 pandemic and Brexit is far from done, it has become the car crash that economists, the financial sector and most serious political observers always warned against. He constantly avoids decisions and then changes them, sacks anyone who challenges his authority, breaks rules, and trashes diplomatic relations with the EU and many other nations. He has destroyed the soft power that the UK enjoyed through International Aid, the BBC and the network of Foreign Office postings. 

The boy has done more damage to the UK economy, its public services and its self-respect than anyone or any event since the last World War. It is difficult to think of anything good that has happened during his two years as prime minister. OK, the vaccine rollout started well but lapsed as the government overdosed on self-congratulation and announcing freedom which has led to the UK once again having one of the highest COVID rates in the world.

Perhaps there is a silver lining. The Brexiters who have controlled the Tory Party for the past six years are also under the cosh. The popularity of Boris Johnson is at an all-time low, parliament seems likely to pursue the PM over his failure to follow the rules and to accept bribes for seats in the House of Lords. His cavalier attitude to funding his flat refurbishment and accepting free holidays from donors merely confirms his lack of a moral compass. When Lord Evans, the chair of the Committee on Standards in Public Life, berates the government for failing to maintain ethical standards and suggests that our "soft power abroad depends on our country’s reputation for integrity at home," you know that we are on the slide with stories of sleaze and corruption appearing every day. 

The Prime Minister's unwillingness to accept recommendations from the Standards Commissioner adds to the impression that he is addicted to entitlement. These decisions fit his personality which is bereft of integrity, consistency, empathy and gravitas. If the Tory Party do not take action, and they have never knowingly avoided getting rid of their leaders when they are deemed to be losers, who do we appeal to? His father, Eton, Oxford University or Her Majesty, she gave the boot to the Australian PM, Gough Whitlam for far less serious breaches of protocol. Our unwritten constitution was not designed to deal with a problem like Boris.

He has shattered many protocols, ignored common practice and undermined institutions but perhaps he has provided some leeway for modernising and enhancing democracy by freeing ourselves of the confusion that arises from our outdated unwritten constitution. There is no shortage of actions that could be undertaken to relinquish the UK from these dark democratic days that the Gone Boy will be remembered for.

• An opportunity to adopt a written constitution like most mature democracies.
• Establish a federal state where the regions of England and the three nations assume responsibility for a far larger share of governance. 
• Introduce a proportional voting system, not one that allows just 30% of the electorate to vote in a government with a majority of 80.
• Reduce the number of MPs in the UK government that will be responsible for far fewer functions and in doing so make the UK a far less London-centric state.
• Create a second chamber in the UK comprised of democratically elected representatives.
• Revisit the relationship with the EU including customs and trade agreements, environmental standards and the Schengen Information System that have had devastating effects on the UK.
• Restore independence and transparency to the operation of institutions such as the BBC that have been subject to increasing political interference.
• Devolve power and functions to the most local level through a genuine commitment to subsidiarity.
• Take decisive action on reducing flying within the UK and eliminate subsidies to fossil fuel industries.
• Commit to eliminating UK-protected tax havens
• Restore International Aid to 0.7%
• Restore the UK's soft power in tackling issues like climate change, poverty, and health and increase support for global institutions like the UN and WHO.